I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
