Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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