come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
