You're so nebulous sometimes
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
