We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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