Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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