Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
