When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
