then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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