She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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