Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
