Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
