Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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