I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
