Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
