I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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