I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
