So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
