I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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