She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
