I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
