Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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