you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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