I'm really into asian looking animals
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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