so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
