I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize