need another drink. this is the easiest way
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
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she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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