low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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