he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
