i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize