i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
