If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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