no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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