so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
