..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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