can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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