dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
