well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
