apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
