Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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