She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
