Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just cut my nipple shaving
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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