Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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