nut hugger
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
