He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
