My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize