am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
