I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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