At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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