she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
