Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
