and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
