summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
