My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
