No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
