absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
