He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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