i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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