also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Randomize
