Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
