i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
