If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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