i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
