don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
