At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
